Catching up.
12 Dec 2011 2 Comments
Well, another semester of college is behind me for better or worse, and I can honestly say it was the most stressful one yet. My hair was falling out, my face was breaking out, I was losing 5 pounds in a two-day span, and not to be weird, but my period was 2 and a half weeks late. That’s to be expected, though, that things get increasingly difficult and more stressful as you progress through your program of study. Next semester should be relatively easy in comparison, so I look forward to that.
Melanie is here in SC with me for a month, while I’m on Christmas break. It’s so nice to have an Australian around again! I missed her a lot over the last 4 months, along with tons of my other Aussie companions. She’s settled into American culture really well, and she seems to be having a blast getting to know my friends. I hate that the town where I live doesn’t have much to do. In order to take her on a proper shopping trip, we’ll have to drive at least an hour. 
Having Melanie here and brainstorming all the things I want her to do and places I want her to see just reminds me so much of being back in Australia, when people were hitting me left and right with ideas of spots to visit, places to shop, places to eat, etc. Travelling, though I’ve only really done it right once, is my favorite thing to think about most days.
I can’t believe how close Christmas is already. Since being in college, it sneaks up on me every year because I’m usually taking final exams up until about two weeks before the big day. I’m looking forward to my family being together, and especially to seeing my uncle who lives in NYC.
Financial struggles have been intense lately due to my lack of a job during the semester. But all glory to God who knows better than I do just what I need and makes sure that I always have that; I’m paying tuition for next semester today and I have lots of babysitting and various other odd jobs coming up this week and next. SInce my class schedule is a little more normal next semester, I plan to get a job once again. I so look forward to having reliable income. It’s been over a year since I worked a regular job, and I miss it.
I miss blogging regularly. Thankfully this Christmas break looks to be fairly chill. 
It’s a Pirate’s Life for Me, Savvy?
17 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
If you know me at all, chances are you’re already aware of my infatuation with pirates. Not just Pirates of the Caribbean. I don’t feel like arguing with those who don’t find that to be the most awesome movie saga or whatever, I enjoyed the movies; if you didn’t, that’s fine too. Whatever. But it’s pirates in general that I’m fascinated with.
In the last week, I’ve had to explain this infatuation twice. Two of my professors inquired about it within a week of one another, and as I started fumbling out words about how awesome pirates are, I realized people probably think I’m totally depraved when I get so excited over these guys.
In light of this, I though I’d take the time to explain here why it is that I’m so infatuated with pirates. And from this point forward, anytime I’m asked, I’ll refer folks to this blog post. Ready? Here we go.
#1. Pirates spend almost all their time on the water. I love the ocean. I love the sounds. I love the smells. I love the way it looks…as though it never ends. The continuity, the depth, the magnitude, the overwhelming strength and might that is the sea…where else better to spend all your “working” days?
#2. Pirates live by their own rules. I know this probably sounds bad; like I have some sort of huge problem with responsibility. Granted, that is the general idea with pirates-they have no respect for common authority and therefore live on the sea and make their own rules. But in my mind, the vast majority of the stress and anxiety that I experience in my life can be attributed to obeying rules and upholding standards that are set by superiors, figures of authority, family and friends, etc. Thus, the idea of living by my own rules and not feeling obligated to bear the burden of upholding a hundred thousand standards that I had no part in setting is a very freeing and refreshing one. Realistic? Maybe not. But we all need that place in our mind where we can go to and be free.
3. Pirates never stay confined to one place. They don’t really call anywhere “home.” They travel the world via the ocean, they see sights and have adventures. I don’t really think this point needs much more elaboration. What can top adventure?
Aside from the sword-slinging, rum-chugging, and ship-commandeering that is part of a pirate’s life, these three points are the main reasons I am such a huge fan of pirates and why I geek out when I see a jolly roger on a t-shirt or something.
Yarrrr. 
Cautious Optimism.
09 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
You’d think that when you are suddenly presented with something you’ve been longing for for quite sometime, your initial reaction would be something like giddiness; a happy feeling that starts to ooze from you and make people ask what’s got you in such a good mood.
I’m not denying that I have a bit of giddiness and a bit of happiness. But I didn’t expect to feel quite so scared. That’s the word- “scared.” This really is the first time I’ve used that word, but it’s the honest truth. For no other reason than the fear of losing something that means a great deal to me, I’m scared.
It’s been a while since I’ve done this. The last time, I thought it was a sure thing. I was pretty certain the search was over, and I let myself become comfortable in that feeling. Before I knew it, there I was again, back at square one and in a position to start all over once again.
Two years later, I’m optimistic about what lies ahead. But, at least today, I’m scared. I don’t want to let the fear of failure keep me from diving in and giving it all I’ve got, but that’s about the scariest thing you can do with your heart, isn’t it?
Just Catching Up.
28 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
It seems unreal, but classes have started once again for Fall semester. Welcome Week at BCM is already over, and I’ve been wide open all week long. It’s been insane, and we’re only a week in.
Lots of things are different since I posted last. I moved in with my aunt, who lost her husband at the beginning of June, while I was in Australia. If you follow my blog, you remember reading about that one already. Things are good here. I enjoy her company and the space I have here. I’m looking forward to the journey of the last year (or maybe year and a half) of my college experience.
I’m back in the habit of waking up early and getting home late. I’m in the habit of hurrying everywhere I go. I’m in the habit of taking tons of notes and asking tons of questions. I’m in the habit of forgetting the answers to the questions I asked and losing the notes I jotted down and having to text classmates late at night to make sure I’m doing the right things for the right classes. I think I felt like my routines would never pick back up again, and I was content with that. But here I am, always rushing and hurrying once again.
I think BCM stuff is going to go really well this year. Ariel (my accountability partner) and myself had a fellowship for our core group last Wednesday night and it was a lot of fun. My dad made spaghetti for us, because he makes wonderful spaghetti, and we played Apples to Apples. There was a lot of laughter and lots of good connections made, and I am looking forward to seeing where God takes our core group through the course of this year.
I can honestly say it’s been a huge blessing to have so much time to spend with friends since I’ve been back from OZ. My relationships with them have grown stronger for the most part, and those that haven’t are being positioned for growth later on down the line. I’m optimistic about life, though it seems I do complain a lot about school taking up all my time.
Anyway, that’s where we are. Not much excitement to speak of, but it’s real life.
In Christ Alone.
12 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
I’m not one to rave about hymns, but this song is one of my all time favorites. I urge you, if you’ve taken the time to come to my page to read this post, to take a moment to read slowly and meditatively through the lyrics; consider for a moment the weight of the words and the love of the Savior that gave His life for our freedom.
In Christ alone, my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song.
This cornerstone, this solid ground-
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All;
Here in the love of Christ, I stand.
There in the ground, His body lay;
Light of the world, by darkness slain.
Then, bursting forth, in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as he stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me!
For I am His and He is mine:
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death;
This is the power of Christ in me!
From life’s cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man
can ever pluck me from His hand.
Til He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ, I’ll stand.
Avoid.
12 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
Uh oh. I round the corner and there, in the distance down the street, you’re walking straight toward me. What do I do? We haven’t talked since it happened. Not a word. It’s your fault we haven’t talked.
I direct my gaze to the ground. Then I glance up again. You have your earphones in. This is good. Maybe you’ll be too occupied with whatever you’re listening to to take notice of me. I glance to my right. Coffee shop. Smokers on the bench outside. That lady has a small dog in her purse, which is ridiculous.
I glance your way again. You’re looking to your right as well, toward the street. The wind blows your hair back, the sun glints off your sunglasses, and you continue to stride confidently towards me. You almost look arrogant. Come to think if it, seeing you here just pisses me off.
I look back at the ground and replay the whole scene in my mind. I did the best I could. My intention wasn’t to hurt you. I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do. But your reaction…it just wasn’t what I expected. You recoiled. You pulled away. We were done. …That was too easy.
I look back up at you again and…oh crap. We make eye contact. If you weren’t aware of my presence before, you certainly are now. So what do I do? As the distance closes between us, I weigh my options in my mind. I could wave politely and say “hi.” I could just smile and continue walking. Time is running out, a decision has to be made here.
I glance up one last time and we make eye contact once again. My decision? My face remains expressionless as you open your mouth to say something as we pass each other at last, but I avert my gaze to the street ahead of me and behind you; I continue walking without so much as a hint of a smile.
That felt good.
The Keys to a Good Friendship.
10 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment more of you than is reasonable have all been waiting for: how to be a good friend to someone else.
1. Be honest. It’s always better to tell the truth when it hurts a little than live out a lie that’s going to hurt a lot.
2. Be respectful. If someone wants to be left alone, leave them alone. If someone wants a hug, hug them.
3. Love unselfishly. If you’re in a friendship because you’re looking to gain something from it, get out of it. Immediately.
4. Be the kind of friend to others that you’d like them to be to you.
5. Don’t assume. Assumptions get you nowhere. They drive you insane and cause you to act really stupid.
It’s really not as difficult as you’re making it. I promise.
Seriously.
